One snowy day.

The rush of cold air blew into my bedroom at 6:25 a.m. and I awoke from the screaming “Erk Erk” noise that my alarm makes. Oh, how I wished I could just stay in bed a little longer. Snowflakes were starting to hug the bathroom window, and the gravel roads were starting to turn white.

Chris Tomlin’s acoustic version of “How Great is Our God” was playing when the car was starting to heat up. One of my favorite things to do every morning is to rub the cross hanging over my rear-view mirror, as a sign of asking for God’s guidance through out the day, and that wherever I am going, he will protect me. I especially rubbed the cross this particular morning. Why? I don’t know?

While I started to drive, I thought about everything that needed to be done that day at school, at work, and at home. I wonder what we’re going to discuss today in English? What am I going to eat for lunch? Is today going to be a stressful day at work? Darn, did I put the clothes in the dryer or not? I am a ponder-er. (I know that’s not a word)

It wasn’t even five minutes into driving on the main street, when a black infinity rushed to get right in front of me. I freaked out and pushed on the breaks so hard the car started to slide and went right over the median that separates the right side of the road from the left. A huge “THUMP” lifted the car a little higher and I could feel my body tense up. I was so scared, I just shut my eyes, and my heart sank. (The angels did a powerful job at holding my car) When I opened my eyes, the car had hopped onto the other side of the road and landed on the sidewalk, literally, inches from the drop into the woods. At that moment, I was overwhelmed, with ten thousand feelings running in and out of me.

Immediately, I called Tu to meet me in a parking lot at a nearby apartment complex to check on the car. I was trying to get it together, to hold everything in before he came. My usual “be strong” instinct came into play, and here I was startled and shaking, yet I was trying to roll my eyes back to keep from crying. For a moment, I thought about how life would be for everyone who knew me if things ended up differently.

Instead of explaining everything and replaying that brutal moment over and over again, I just wanted a hug. One nice long hug and everything would’ve been okay. No damages were done to the car, thank god, but I was still quite upset at the guy who decided to rush on this particular icy morning, at this particular time. Yet, he probably didn’t even know that his ignorance could have cost a life.

I cried a couple of times that day, at work. I mean, I was already having a hectic day at work and running late on projects. I especially thought about that morning though, and how grateful I was that God didn’t let it happen “differently”. How “differently” would have cost so much pain. I thought about “how great our god” truly is and his power to “guide and protect”. It didn’t matter if I had rubbed that cross or not, or that my radio station was on K-Love (Christian music), or that I prayed the night before, or even if it were someone else. God wasn’t going to let it happen, not there, and not like that.

I sat in the closet that night, and wondered if life would stop and wait for me if I locked myself up until summer. I thought about the irony of how children portray the closet as monster-filled and scary. When in that slightest moment, it was the one time, for a long time, I actually felt peace and security. For one minute, that day, I could hear myself breathe. Then, everything was okay, again.

“You are Worthy of all praise and my heart will sing how great is our God”