Defining "Normal".

I wasn’t sure if it really hit me, or if his comforting voice got to me. Perhaps, it was my frustrations, and stubborn little sister. Sad to say, but my little sisters can still make me cry. (Smiles) Day by day, it gets a little harder.

I left work yesterday night, anxious to get home. Then it hit, “Wait, he’s not even here anymore”. I quickly substituted that thought with knowing I was going to be able to see my chubby brat, and everything was okay.

Your mom comforts me every morning. Her hugs truly make things a little easier, but it also makes me miss you more. She’s sad that the food lasts longer now. The house has a distinct awkwardness, sometimes, and I start to notice that you won’t “be home later” to make it okay, again.

I’ve been trying to figure out a new “normal”, before everything catches up. Being more involved with school, picking up more at work, and trying to occupy myself. Although, I’m not too sure waking up by myself will ever be “normal”. But, I must add, my back has been feeling a lot better, now days.

A sweater, a shirt, a mist of cologne, a piece of hair (kidding), I should have kept something to wear, hold, or smell. I don’t want to forget you, even a little. I think I kind of already forgot how you look like.

I hope you are doing well, and that when we do talk, you’re not just trying to be strong. I know your weaknesses. (Smiles) I’m praying for you (I hope you’re remembering to pray), and it won’t be too long, before we can return to our routines.